It’s 10:30pm and I feel restless. I’ve tried to sleep but sleep eludes me. This seems to be happening to me more and more recently. At first I thought it must be something I’m doing – something that I was eating that was keeping me up, something that was on my mind that was bothering me, something that was distracting me that I didn’t realize, but more and more I’m starting to think it’s something else. Things just feel different somehow. And not just at night.
During the daytime I find myself wanting to be outside more and more. I live in a city, and I’ve never found a reason to want to be out in “nature” the way people in the country might feel. But for some reason, I’m wanting to be outside. And I even feel jealous of people in the country that can go outside and just walk around a field or a forest or a hilltop.
I’ve found myself listening to the wind when I’m outside. I feel a connection with the wind. I’ve never really listened to the wind before… in fact, I didn’t even really know that you could. But you can. I’ve found you can hear things you didn’t even know were happening if you listen. The wind carries in sounds of animals, insects, people. You can hear things farther away than you think. For how long have I been ignoring all these sounds?
So I’m laying here right now, unable to sleep. Thinking about all the things that feel different to me, and wondering if anyone else feels the same. These different feelings(?) these different instincts(?). Is this what the beginning of a shift feels like?
My thanks to a friend (wanting to stay anonymous) for letting us share his thoughts with you…