zombie attacks spreading but government denies they exist

zombie attacks are realFact:  Over the past few weeks, there have been many reports of “zombie” attacks in city streets. (Zombie-appearing humans eating other humans). This is scary.  And it is a fact, not fiction.  Are zombies real!?

It’s not just conspiracy anymore.  There are many people that think that the zombie apocalypse is fast approaching.  Their proof?  Multiple reports of zombie attacks coming from different areas throughout the world.  The fear is so strong that the United States Government released what some would think they would never release an official statement saying that zombies do not exist.  The government agency which released the statement – the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) is a federal US public health agency that focuses on infectious disease prevention and control.

Here is their statement:

CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” says David Daigle, CDC spokesman to the Huffington Post.

Bizarrely, prior to this zombie outbreak, the CDC had posted on their official website, a page entitled “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalpyse”, and on this page they not only talk about the history of zombies, but also that you should be “Better Safe than Sorry” and what you need to do before to prepare for a zombie pandemic.  They’ve oulined what you need to do to prepare your emergency plan, and also highlighted that the CDC is ready to lend assistance during any outbreak. (Official CDC webpage here.)  They also have downloadable posters.

What were the actual zombie attacks that have been happening? (check out the official zombie world population counter here)

Here’s a rundown of some of the biggest zombie cases that we know so far:

  1. On May 26, 2012 n Miami, Florida a man named Rudy Eugene was walking down the street, then started stripping until he was naked.  He then came upon a homeless man and started chewing off his face.  When someone tried to stop him, he looked up at the passerby in a glazed look and growled with a piece of flesh hanging from his mouth.
  2. On June  2, 2012 in Lafayette, Louisiana, a man named Carl Jacqueneux showed up at a man’s backyard that he knew and bit off a chunk of his face.
  3. On June 26, 2012 in eastern China, a man named “Dong” ran into the street and started banging on a car.  The woman who was driving ran out of her car, whereupon the man jumped on her and began chewing off her face.

 So what does all this mean?

That’s where this gets sticky.  Noone official will acknowledge that zombies exist – in fact, the government is going out of their way to deny their existence!!   Also, why would a government agency go out of their way to deny the existence of something that they think is supposedly just science fiction?

It’s not hard to deduce that these face-chewers truly seem to meet all the criteria of zombies.  There is some speculation that the CDC new in advance of some kind of pathogen that might cause humans to become zombies, and thus they preemptively put information out to help get people used to the idea, calling it merely a “gimmick” if anyone inquired.  That’s just speculation from some corners of the blogosphere and certainly nothing that the CDC is saying.

And bizarrely, this announcement about zombies, was followed by a similar bizarre statement from NOAA that mermaids do not exist.  Hmmm.



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9 Responses

  1. It seems to me that something is happening. The facts seem to point to a zed infection.

  2. Hunni says:

    My friend was talking about this, wasn’t it something to do with bath salts ?

  3. Argharna Welyn says:

    zombies yeah right il beleave that when i see it

  4. Bill says:

    People who Eat other Peoples Faces, I don’t Consider them Zombies, They are just Deranged People, I’ll Admit that 3 People that do the same Thing is a Little Strange, But I’m sure that these People were Caught and Examined, I doubt very much there was any Zombie Virus Involved, Just Mental Problems.

  5. Kiba says:

    Okay, I really highly doubt that there have been zombies attacking because if there were, there would be a spread by now. And I agree with Bill- all that had to have been from just mental issues.

  6. Onixe11 says:

    It could be a different sort of desiese. Or they could all be from some sort of group.

  7. Les says:

    Maybe zombies don’t spread like movies and other stories lead us to believe. Maybe your body has to be gentically modified or have some disfunction in your brain that changes you into a sort of zombie, but is unable to spread.

  8. Josie says:

    Zombies don’t neccessarily eat flesh- they could just be living people who’ve come back to life!!

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